>A wife with money troubles..actually..no money

So because my hubby was smart enought to quit work without applying for a new job
I locked him in the bedroom and tied him to the bedposts with ants crawling all over his honey laden body ( I borrowed honey from the neighbor since I cannot afford one)

Well anyhow…Im working online again..However pay comes next month so that’s still 15 days without water and food. I’ll finally lose weight.. O.M.G!!!! Im so happy I could cry.

Problem is my baby girl cannot live without milk and food. Nobody wants to lend money now because they read somewhere that lending money can break a friendship. Heck you can always make more friends yah know.

So I have now posted an ad in Craiglist, Sulit, Ayos Dito, E bay. I am now officially selling my gorgeous, flawless, wrinkle free chubby body. The ad states that my body could be used for any good or evil purpose, I could be used as a decorative figurine and be dipped in cement; I could be eaten alive, I could be roasted and served along with your favorite beer.

So, as of now I have received a few “offers to buy”. I did post a picture of myself minus my face coz you know…I do not want to be swamped with too many expensive bids. I wanna be fair here.Starting bid is 12 USD or around 5oo PHP because that is the cost of 1.2 kgs of Lactum Milk. Im a panatag mom. Im friends with Jodi and Carmina.

I am now currently also negotiating the sale of my husband’s Playstation2, his Ipod, His 2 mobile phones, his towel, his toothbrush, his keychain. ( wonder how he is, he keeps on screaming upstairs, I do not know what’s up with that…I am blogging here…gosh)

I also posted a notice on the gate saying they can use one of our bedrooms as a place to satisfy all their greatest inner desires..Like play Farmville unlimited on Facebook

I did also offer myself to an ex lover who is willing to pay for errr reminiscing our past but the best offer he could do was 22 USD or 1000 php. I had to say no. It’s just too low a price for adultery don’t you think? Besides that’s just 1 box of milk and 32 diapers. Soo not worth it. Alhtough i would like to do it for free but then it would not justify the cheating. Hah! Im smart like that

I also tried to join those shows where you can win loads of cash by making a fool of yourself or showing your talent. Unfortunately for me, they said eating three giant Mc Donalds sized fries in two minutes is not a talent.

anyhow
Gotta go..need to untie hubby..I scheduled him to rob a bank at 2pm..

Spare me the judgment..These are things i am doing for my child
My child who is going to end up with a bank robber for a dad and an escort girl for a mom

Ahhh times are hard…
Boo hoo hoo ..I have to untie hubby now